The Pressure of Pre-Med
This past year has been such a journey from me. Almost one year ago, I enrolled at NYU as a pre-medical post-baccalaureate student. I was nervous, but excited to take my first steps towards a career in medicine. Here I am a year later, and I gotta say, I don't know that I am the same person I was one year ago. Now, I have a semester of pre-calculus and calculus under my belt, as well as a whole year's worth of biology and chemistry --- but that's not what I mean.
I went into this program knowing full well that it would be difficult. I mean, let's face it, if I was good at science and if I had a particular love for science, I would've majored in it as an undergrad. I enrolled at NYU knowing that the next two years would be a struggle, but I don't think I realized just how much of a struggle it would be...
Maybe it's because I went to Bryn Mawr and was sheltered? or maybe it's because NYU is like a giant monster and it's all about sink or swim...I don't know, but what I have learned is pre-med is truly a cut throat and emotionally taxing game, where only the strong survive. I had always known that introductory classes, like Biology and Chemistry, were designed to weed people out, but I thought that was only academic, not emotional.
The past two weeks were particularly challenging for me, because I had back to back exams. The first week was chemistry and the second week was biology. Trying to master all of the required material was a feat, but I gave it my all...to bad my all wasn't enough....at least for chemistry. (My biology exam grade is still pending).
I think what I find most frustrating is that I can study for hours everyday and pull some late nights, and feel comfortable with the material, and yet, when it comes to an examination, the questions are foreign to me. Do you ever notice this, when taking an exam? The metaphor my father uses is, "professors never ask you how you got from point A to point B, but rather, they ask you what color the street lamp was." It's random and catches you off guard. It's also frustrating as hell.
When I got my chemistry exam back, I actually had an emotional meltdown. I worked with my tutor nonstop the week leading up to the exam, and we went through my professor's sample exam questions so many times, I didn't even have to read the questions because I had practically memorized it. As my father says, "practice makes perfect" and by the time my exam rolled around, I was feeling good. I succeeded in solving all of the sample questions properly, so I felt that the chem exam would be doable. Boy was I wrong.
Not to bore you, but my professor threw such curve balls. Overly complex math questions that had me crying inside and a slew of concept questions that I was unprepared for. (He usually has a vocab section and none of the sample exams had concept questions). I was frustrated, but did my best.
I performed "average" on my exam, but went into meltdown mode. I was angry because after working my butt off, the fact that my grade was so low was like a slap across the face. It was as if my professor was purposely mocking me and rubbing it into my face that I am not a naturally brilliant science student. I felt truly and utterly dejected. I also started to fear my chanced of getting into medical school.
Grades are obviously a vital part of the application and let's just say, it will be my stellar personality, and not necessarily my grades that help me go to med school. I think the most stressful part about this year is the fact that even though I am smart and can answer questions, just because I can't adequately answer questions on an exam, that hurts my grades, and potentially hurts my chances of getting into medical school. I know that none of what I am saying is particularly new or shocking, but it is frustrating.
Looking back on my journey, one year later, I have to say, this has been a roller coaster. I think, for me, the shock factor is in the emotional toll that this program is taking. Don't misunderstand me. I am very happy with my life choice and I am in this to win it, but gosh, the stress and tears can wear you down sometimes. The uncertainty of the future is also really troubling. Gahhhhh!!!
I have another year to go...then MCAT and application time. Wish me luck!
I went into this program knowing full well that it would be difficult. I mean, let's face it, if I was good at science and if I had a particular love for science, I would've majored in it as an undergrad. I enrolled at NYU knowing that the next two years would be a struggle, but I don't think I realized just how much of a struggle it would be...
Maybe it's because I went to Bryn Mawr and was sheltered? or maybe it's because NYU is like a giant monster and it's all about sink or swim...I don't know, but what I have learned is pre-med is truly a cut throat and emotionally taxing game, where only the strong survive. I had always known that introductory classes, like Biology and Chemistry, were designed to weed people out, but I thought that was only academic, not emotional.
The past two weeks were particularly challenging for me, because I had back to back exams. The first week was chemistry and the second week was biology. Trying to master all of the required material was a feat, but I gave it my all...to bad my all wasn't enough....at least for chemistry. (My biology exam grade is still pending).
I think what I find most frustrating is that I can study for hours everyday and pull some late nights, and feel comfortable with the material, and yet, when it comes to an examination, the questions are foreign to me. Do you ever notice this, when taking an exam? The metaphor my father uses is, "professors never ask you how you got from point A to point B, but rather, they ask you what color the street lamp was." It's random and catches you off guard. It's also frustrating as hell.
When I got my chemistry exam back, I actually had an emotional meltdown. I worked with my tutor nonstop the week leading up to the exam, and we went through my professor's sample exam questions so many times, I didn't even have to read the questions because I had practically memorized it. As my father says, "practice makes perfect" and by the time my exam rolled around, I was feeling good. I succeeded in solving all of the sample questions properly, so I felt that the chem exam would be doable. Boy was I wrong.
Not to bore you, but my professor threw such curve balls. Overly complex math questions that had me crying inside and a slew of concept questions that I was unprepared for. (He usually has a vocab section and none of the sample exams had concept questions). I was frustrated, but did my best.
I performed "average" on my exam, but went into meltdown mode. I was angry because after working my butt off, the fact that my grade was so low was like a slap across the face. It was as if my professor was purposely mocking me and rubbing it into my face that I am not a naturally brilliant science student. I felt truly and utterly dejected. I also started to fear my chanced of getting into medical school.
Grades are obviously a vital part of the application and let's just say, it will be my stellar personality, and not necessarily my grades that help me go to med school. I think the most stressful part about this year is the fact that even though I am smart and can answer questions, just because I can't adequately answer questions on an exam, that hurts my grades, and potentially hurts my chances of getting into medical school. I know that none of what I am saying is particularly new or shocking, but it is frustrating.
Looking back on my journey, one year later, I have to say, this has been a roller coaster. I think, for me, the shock factor is in the emotional toll that this program is taking. Don't misunderstand me. I am very happy with my life choice and I am in this to win it, but gosh, the stress and tears can wear you down sometimes. The uncertainty of the future is also really troubling. Gahhhhh!!!
I have another year to go...then MCAT and application time. Wish me luck!
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